On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
