I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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