Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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