How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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