Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
True strength comes from lack of pants
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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