Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
