During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's never too late to be topless.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize