so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
a search helicopter?!
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
