I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you never un-have a 4some
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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