The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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