ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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