how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
