i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room