Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude it was a lap dance

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  (410): That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club (301): Dude it was a lap dance http://tfl.nu/d6y0
  Replies (15) Good night (1487) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles

  (205): View more from Alabama

  for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today

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  (281): Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles (205): for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today http://tfl.nu/m9xp
  Replies (9) Good night (518) Bad night (3083)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete

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  (717): just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete http://tfl.nu/yzxp
  Replies (28) Good night (4537) Bad night (1772)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while

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  (817): well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while http://tfl.nu/ax7b
  Replies (33) Good night (1583) Bad night (4913)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?

  (475): View more from Connecticut

  Yeah?

  (212): View more from New York

  Stuck it in his pooper.

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  (212): You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year? (475): Yeah? (212): Stuck it in his pooper. http://tfl.nu/y911
  Replies (209) Good night (10611) Bad night (4571)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed

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  (617): i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed http://tfl.nu/c1fn
  Replies (7) Good night (4590) Bad night (872)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...

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  (203): There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door... http://tfl.nu/wacl
  Replies (14) Good night (4193) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm so horny

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect

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  (816): I'm so horny (913): I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect http://tfl.nu/ggyh
  Replies (12) Good night (5731) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.

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  (256): this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man. http://tfl.nu/hhwz
  Replies (17) Good night (1050) Bad night (6019)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.

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  (207): FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS. http://tfl.nu/a3c7
  Replies (28) Good night (2364) Bad night (2906)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.

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  (307): The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though. http://tfl.nu/bysz
  Replies (8) Good night (927) Bad night (3168)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.

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  (814): i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him. http://tfl.nu/dwt7
  Replies (2) Good night (1823) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity

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  (314): Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity http://tfl.nu/auuk
  Replies (6) Good night (1024) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.

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  (780): So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks. http://tfl.nu/pwvq
  Replies (5) Good night (1534) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.

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  (607): Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme. http://tfl.nu/vszb
  Replies (3) Good night (596) Bad night (175)

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