I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
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She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
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I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.