I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.