I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night