I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
