You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize