guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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