i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
