nut hugger
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize