Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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