Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
