And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
