sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
