Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
