Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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