Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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