the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
