I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
