Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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