There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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