I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
