I met the friendliest cop last night
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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