Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize