I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
