So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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