Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I think my fart just growled at me.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Randomize
