I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
