I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
