Michael Bay diarrhea
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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