I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
