Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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