Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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