I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
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