God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I still have a little drunk in my system
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
