why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
