Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
