Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
