You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
