This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I have aggressive nipples.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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