maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
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i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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