her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
