YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
