My Higher Power is John Stamos
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
