Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
