one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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