I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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