we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
