Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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