I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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