she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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